Responsible Relationships and You: Facebook Manners

For an elllo lesson on Social Networks like Facebook, click here.




Facebook Manners And You - The most popular videos are here

Meet Alice, she has just arrived home from a hard day at work. She switches on her computing machine and looks to see what her friends have been up to on Facebook, the electric friendship generator.

First, she checks in to see what Timmy has been up to. Alice and Timmy have been going steady for six months and she thinks he's a real swell guy. Alice hasn't spoken to Timmy since last evening and can't wait to see what his day was like. That's funny, at 2:05 this morning, Timmy changed his relationship status from "in a relationship" to "single". Even more curious, he became friends with Donna Whitehouse at 2:07 am.

Timmy just bungled rule number one of Facebook relationship etiquette: don't change your relationship status without consulting the other person. What a dope!

Alice decides there must be some sort of mistake. The Timmy she knows would never disregard her feelings this way. She sends him a note to see if it was a mistake. Alice waits, and waits...and waits.

Alice is tired of waiting. So she decides to stick it to Timmy. She uploads and tags a few embarrassing photographs of Timmy. Timmy may have a hard time making new friends when they see that he likes to dress up in Alice's undergarments. Those photographs sure are funny. But Alice just broke Facebook relationship etiquette rule number two: don't post embarrassing photographs of other people. Shame on you Alice!

It's ok Alice, we all make mistakes. It looks like Timmy has posted some messages on Alice's wall. "I can't believe you posted those photos of me." "Sorry for being such a square." "Baby, are you there?" "By the way, it was just a regular rash." TMI Timmy! You've just broken Facebook Relationship etiquette rule number three: be discreet when posting messages on another person's wall.

Alice doesn't take the bait. She removes Timmy's post, and tries to move on with her life.

That's interesting. Timmy has been very busy on Facebook, making friends with all of Alice's friends. Who would want to be pals with a Grody Jody like Timmy. He has violated Facebook relationship etiquette rule number four: don't steal other people's friends. Cool it Alice! No one is going to date you if you get frown lines.

Alice is fed up. So she creates a group called "Timmy Gordon is a real wet blanket." According to the group's description: "Timmy cries over spilled milk;" "Timmy buys things not made in the USA;" "Timmy wets the bed" and "Timmy is a communist." Be careful Alice! This is clearly in violation of Facebook relationship rule number five: don't start hate groups. Nothing good can come of this.

What did I tell you Alice? Timmy is in the slammer and Alice is ashamed. All of this could have been avoided by following the simple rules of Facebook etiquette. Don't be bungle-heads like Alice and Timmy. Have good Facebook manners and the electric friendship generator will be more fun for everyone.

Sent to me by Catwoman. Thanks!


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Tired of soccer?

This week is all about Switzerland on elllo. And for all the ladies, here's a few reasons why you might like to spend a vacation here.



Dear Girls,

Why not escape during this summer's world cup to a country where men spend less time on football and more time on you?




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Susan Boyle? How about "Ken Lee"?

"Ken Lee" (I can't leave)


Maria's Reaction



There is hope for her! Here's she is again after just 1 month of listening to ELLLO :-)


The real words to the song:

No, I cant forget this evening
Or your face as you were leaving
But I guess thats just the way this story goes,
You always smile....
But in you eyes your sorrow shows
Yes it shows

No I cant forget tomorrow
When I think of all my sorrows
When I had you there but then I let you go
And now its only fair that I should let you know
What you should know

I cant live
If living is without you
I cant live
I cant give anymore
Cant live
If living is without you
cant give,
I cant give anymore

Well, I cant forget this evening
Or your face as you were leaving
But I guess thats just the way this story goes,
You always smile
But in you eyes your sorrow shows
Yes it shows

cant live
If living is without you
I cant live
I cant give anymore
Cant live
If living is without you
I cant live,
I cant give anymore

Ohhhhhh(No cant live)
No no no (No I cant live)
I cant live (No cant live)
If living is without (No I cant live)
I cant live (No cant live)
I cant give anymore (No I cant live) Read more!

Win a new iPod Shuffle!!!

The contest ended May 1, but I'll be starting a new one very soon...

It's true!!! I will personally send a brand new 4GB iPod Shuffle to the first person to correctly identify the NAME and COUNTRY of each speaker in this series of 20 audio clips.


Hint: All of the audio samples can be found on the main elllo website anywhere between the first interview that Todd ever uploaded all the way up to the most recent ones (#1-#964).

Start listening NOW before someone else finds them before you and wins the new iPod Shuffle that could be YOURS!

Send your answers to joel@elllo.org in this format:
1. Name, Country
2. Name, Country
3. Name, Country
4. Name, Country
5. Name, Country
6. Name, Country
7. Name, Country
8. Name, Country
9. Name, Country
10. Name, Country
11. Name, Country
12. Name, Country
13. Name, Country
14. Name, Country
15. Name, Country
16. Name, Country
17. Name, Country
18. Name, Country
19. Name, Country
20. Name, Country

I will announce the winner on this blog at the beginning of next month (May 3rd). If no one has found all of them by then I will give you some hints, but we have thousands of regular elllo users, so I expect the competition to be fierce! HURRY!!!

If you have any questions, please click on the link below that says, "Questions".

GOOD LUCK!!!








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How to Train Your Man to Do Housework

Interviews #957 and #958 about housework are here.





Welcome to Love U. This is like no other university you have been to. You'll actually like the homework. Today's lesson is How to Train Your Man.

Ok so, I know we are supposed to accept people for who they are, but what if you are just trying to turn your man into the best person he can be. Well, that a winning situation and if that just happens to mean turning him into the best person he can be for you, well then my friend that is a win-win situation.

The first step to creating your perfect man: Positive Reinforcement. Everyone likes a pat on the back, so just like you would give your dog a treat, when your man does something good, stroke his ego and watch that behavior replicate.

"Honey, did you just put a sock in the laundry? Way to go!"

"Baby? I'm doing the other one right now. Honey?"

The next step to molding your perfect mate: Manipulate His Environment
Make sure that your man is hanging out with married men. Husbands are pre-trained and they should serve as positive role models.

"Dude, I love the color you guys painted the bathroom."

"Thanks. Carol chose it. It's got a real flair. Hey, you did put the seat down when you were in there, right?"

"Uh, I don't know. Maybe?"

"Ohhh!"

"Oh good God!"

"Must put seat down! Must put seat down!"

STEP #3:
Now what if you simply don't have the patience to train your man over time? Try setting up an Incentive Program. Every time your man does something that you ask, give him a reward. The only difficult thing is figuring out which reward works best.

"Honey, do you think you can clean out the garage today?"

"I don't think I'll have time today babe."

"I'm on it."

"Honey, do you think you can fix the garbage disposal?"

"Can't babe, the game is about to start."

"I'm on it."

"Honey..."

"Whatever it is...yes!"

Well that's it for this edition of Love U. Hopefully we've outlined a behavior modification program that you can use in your everyday life. Soon your man will be perfectly trained and my mission will have been accomplished. I'm Tiffany Smith and thank your for enrolling in Love U.




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Boy and Girl

Listen to Buddhi and Kadi talk about gender roles in Sri Lanka and Estonia. And below, here is an animation about gender roles. What does it symbolize? Is it really like this where you live?





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Speak English Please!

I know, it doesn't have anything to do with this week's theme, but it's funny.


Hat tip: Luciano Tommassone from our Facebook group for sharing this video.





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You'll grow into her

Enam talks about arranged marriage in Bangledesh on elllo here. Indian-Canadian comedian Russel Peters talks about them below:

Arranged marriage is a big problem in my community man. I mean, it's not so much of a problem...it's a problem if you want it to be a problem. I mean, it's a problem for me, you know.

My parents tried that on me last year, they came up to me and they were like...my mom goes, "Russel, you're getting older now. And you're not married. What if I bring some nice girls home for you?

I go, "Mom, I bring nice girls home all the time. They just leave in the morning, you know. That's a nice girl right there."

She said, "No no, I will pick some girls and you can choose the one you like."

"Look, are you out of your mind?" My mom wanted to pick my wife! I wouldn't let my mom pick my clothes.

Can you imagine my mom walking in with this girl, "I know she's a little big now...but you'll grow into her."

Language Focus:
"You'll grow into her." - Normally, we use this phrase for something like clothing. For example, if a young boy has a shirt that is too big, his mom might say, "Don't worry you'll grow into that shirt." In other words, the boy will get bigger and then the shirt will fit and be just the right size.




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Imitation Designer Brands

Melissa talks about her interest in flea markets here.
Below, listen to a comedian talk about growing up poor in LA:

We were poor when I was growing up. I mean, my mom never bought me nice clothes at Dillards or Macys. My mom used to buy all my clothes at the flea market and I hated that because I always got imitation designer clothes you know. Like instead of Polo, my mom got me Pollo. Have you ever seen a Pollo shirt bro, you know what it is? It's a little emblem of a chicken riding a horse holding a mallet, you know!

LANGUAGE FOCUS:
Imitation = fake; not real
Pollo = Pronounced /poi-yo/: the Spanish word for chicken. A majority of Americans know a few basic words of Spanish, pollo is one of them.



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California Weather

Jokes.com

Joe Yannetty - California Weather

Joke of the Day
Stand-Up Comedy

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Have you ever been to Southern California? It rains and the houses fall down. It's not like the roof caves in and the windows break, the whole house. Two inches of rain...nothing left. And they don't understand why this happens. In California they figure here's a cliff, let's build a house right there. They don't understand why it fell. If you can look over the edge and go, "Wow! It would suck if this fell." It will. Then they build a house at the bottom of the cliff, "Wow! It would suck if that came down." Buy a helmet.

You see, we've got 4 boring seasons on the East Coast: winter, spring, summer, and fall. Have you ever been to California? Wind, fire, mud, and earthquakes. First it's very windy for a long time and it dries everything out. Then some idiot throws a cigarette out the window onto the freeway and half the state catches on fire; that the change of seasons. Then the rain comes along and puts out the fire, but it stays too long and then you come home and there's 4 feet of mud in your kitchen...and it's 35 miles from the living room.

People get stuck in floods in their car. How do you get stuck in a flood in your car? Here's a hint: the car in front of you is floating? Reverse! In the town I lived in people in a supermarket parking lot had to be resued in 4 feet of water. You know who needs to be rescued in 4 feet of water? People 3 feet 11 (inches) and shorter. I saw a guy carrying a Rottweiller. Have you ever seen a Rottweiller? The Tyrannosaurus Rex of dogs. The guy is walking in water up to his knees carrying 165 pound dog crying , "Somebody, help my dog!" The dog is going, "Put me down moron! Remember the beach, you throw the ball, I swim, I'll bring it back? Same stuff.

Click below to make this joke into your own...

Think about what is unusual or unique about the weather in your hometown and some of the problems that it causes people. Fill in the blanks and see if you can make it funny.

Have you ever been to ______________________? When it (bad weather) __________________ the ____________________(something bad happens). It's not like (small problem) _________________________________, the (serious problem) _______________________________________. (Example of small weather incident: 2 inches of rain) __________________ and (describe the damage) ___________________. And they don't understand why this happens. In (hometown) (example of people being stupid) ___________________________. They don't understand why (example of damage). If you can look at (describe the situation) and go, "Wow! It would suck if this (example of problem)." It will. Then they (example of something even more stupid), "Wow! It would suck if (example of worse problem)." Buy a _____________________(something to protect you).

EXAMPLE:
Have you ever been to Colorado? When it snows the people forget how to drive. It's not like they just go a little slower, they actually don't even know which pedal is for the brake and which is for the gas. . There is an inch of snow on the road and people are sliding around more than at the ski areas. And they don't understand why this happens. In Colorado, they don't understand why it's important to be careful . If you can look over the side of the road and go, "Wow! It would suck if I went too fast around this corner and slid off the road." Then you will. Then the guy behind him slams on his brakes and thinks, "Wow! Maybe it will help if I turn the wheel all the way to the right while I'm sliding ." Buy some skiis. They're safer.
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Small Talk with Barack

A winter storm in America has left millions of people without electricity and has been blamed for at least 20 deaths. Flights into New York's three airports have been delayed and also many businesses have had to close. There is more than a foot of snow on the ground in places and the weather has been given a frosty reception by new president Barack Obama. He joked that Washington can't handle it as well as his old town of Chicago.

"My childrens' school was cancelled today because of...what? Some ice? As my children pointed out, in Chicago, school is never cancelled. In fact, my 7 year-old pointed out that you'd go outside for recess (play time) on a day like this. You wouldn't even stay indoors. So it's uh...I don't know...we're gonna have to try to apply some flinty Chicago toughness to this town. I'm saying that when it comes to the weather, folks in Washington don't seem to be able to handle things. "

So, while the snow and ice should be gone by this spring, the president is hoping that the economic problems in his country thaw out just as quickly.





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Ninety Three!

In just one week, the ELLLO Friends Facebook group has grown to 93 members. This is a great place to make international friends and practice your English. Join the fun, for free here.




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Mixer Podcast

The newest podcast is now online. Mixer podcast are especially good for improving pronunciation, reading and listening skill, and fluency. We also have lesson worksheets that go with the new mixers. Click here to see it online and here for the podcast.





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Dark Dining in NYC

The CamaJe Bistro, in Greenwich Village, is unlike all the other entries on this list—the restaurant is lit and the patrons experience darkness by wear blindfolds. The blindfold method of darkness is logistically easy (when you want to go to the bathroom, for example) but since not all of the patrons, and none of the waitstaff, are blindfolded we, personally, would feel much more self-conscious here than we would in all-dark digs.


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The Whale Inside

The Whale Inside opened in Beijing in 2007 and has been such an overwhelming hit since that it has already expanded to Shanghai and Hong Kong. The dark’s draw here has less to do with heightening one’s palate than it does lowering one’s social inhibitions. The restaurant is an extremely popular with couples on a first date, especially couples who met over the internet (who presumably figure that they’ve never before seen their partner in person so why should they start now?). Given the groping that’s happening in the promo video on the Whale Inside’s website homepage we can only imagine what happens when the video camera is turned off. The waitstaff here wear infrared goggles. Dinner costs ¥250 (about US$26, €28).

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A Good Date and a Bad Date

The podcast based on interview #946 is now online and ready to be synced to your MP3 player so you can practice away while you are away from your computer. Sign up for the podcast here if you haven't already.




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Song of the Week: U2 - "Love is Blindness"

Love is blindness
I don't wanna see
Won't you wrap the night
Around me?
Oh my heart
Love is blindness

In a parked car
In a crowded street
You see your love
Made complete
Thread is ripping
The knot is slipping
Love is blindness

Love is clockworks
And cold steel
Fingers too numb to feel
Squeeze the handle
Blow out the candle
Love is blindness

Love is blindness
I don't want to see
Won't you wrap the night
Around me?
Oh my love
Blindness

A little death
Without mourning
No call
And no warning
Baby, a dangerous idea
That almost makes sense

Love is drowning
In a deep well
All the secrets
And no one to tell
Take the money
Honey
Blindness

Love is blindness
I don't want to see
Won't you wrap the night
Around me?
Oh my love
Blindness.

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Eating in the Dark

In September of 1999, The Blind Cow, the world's first restaurant in total darkness, opened in Zurich in an old Methodist church building. "Blind Cow" is the German name for the children's game known as Blind Man's Bluffin English. Today there are 18 restaurants all over the world that have adapted the concept.

The primary goal was to create workplaces for blind and visually handicapped people. Today we manage without extra funding. Earning their own money helps people's self-esteem. Another goal is to boost the dialogue between the blind and people who can see. For once they have to swap roles, the blind person becomes the guide of the person who normally sees.

Welcome to the Blind Cow. My name's Anya. May I ask you to form a congo and follow me into the restaurant. Now we move through the first curtain into the Ante-room...to the right...now we pass through another curtain to the restaurant. From now on, it will be completely dark, don't be afraid. Here we turn left. Follow the lin you feel on the floor. Now we turn left again. Straight. To the right, we're almost there. Left again, and we've reached the table. Here's the first chair back. Is everyone comfortable in the dark so far? Great, what would you like to drink?

In our restaurant, you make contacts you wouldn't make in daylight. People are tempted to sit down at empty tables. Here we place people at tables with strangers. Here we place people at tables with strangers. Once they come out of the dark, they are usually surprised to see how different their table companion looks from what they've imagined.

It might give a kind of insight into the world of blind people, but to me the restaurant is more about sharpening other senses, the sense of taste for example. Many guests tell us that the red wine tastes a lot more intense in the dark.

The blind cow changes it's menu every week. There is always one meat, one fish, and one vegetarian dish. So our staff know what kind of fish they are serving in the dark, we use different kinds of plates. For example, let's take our main courses: we use a plate with a large plain rim for meat dishes, another one with a ribbed rim for fish, and for vegetarian dishes one with strutted edges. This way our waiters always know what dish they are carrying.

After they have finished their meals, the guests are escorted back to daylight.

"You are more aware of how you eat. You have to remember what food there is on your plate and remember in what section of the plate you find the wild rice, spinach, or fish. Sometimes, you even have to use your fingers."

"It's like waking up in the middle of the night when everything is pitch dark. In the beginning, you have to touch everything to get an idea of the place. The first five minutes are quite strange, but then you get used to it and it's sort of fun."
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How do you find your fork, spoon, and glass in the dark?

Our blind waiters explain the placing of objects using a clock analogy, so that you can act in the dark. The spoons are found at twelve o'clock.




At the Unsicht-Bar restaurant in Berlin

When having dinner at the unsicht-Bar dark restaurant Berlin your eyes will finally be able to take a well-deserved break. By voluntarily abandoning your visual impulses you will be able to experience what wonderful work your other senses are capable of. Feel a gentle breeze. Feel the things on your table. Let your nose explore unknown horizons and experience pure taste without any visual pretence. You will feel the presence of your table partners and will be pleasantly surprised how the simplest conversation will magnify in importance. A genuine sensory rush!

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The World's First Dark Restaurant: Blindekuh

The name of this restaurant in Zurich, Switzerland means Blind Cow.

They say the eye is as important as the taste buds when it comes to food. Not here. At blindekuh, the pleasures of the palate are experienced by other senses that are sharpened by the darkness. Let smell and taste, hearing and touch, be your guides. You don't need your eyes to enjoy blindekuh!
We don't want you to feel lost in our world of darkness, so our professional staff are always there to help. Our team is made up of blind and partially sighted people who will take the very best care of you, making your visit to blindekuh an unforgettable experience.

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